stay out of my way.. i'm married

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party.
Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol a bit. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes,
and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them is a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in
perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I've gone to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian."

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning paper. His son is sitting at the table eating. Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 AM, drunk out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then you puked in the hallway,
and got that black eye when you ran into the door." Confused, Jack asked his son, "So why is everything in perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you into
the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken Coffee Table...$239.99
Hot Breakfast...$4.20
Two aspirins...38cents
Saying the right thing, at the right time...Priceless.